Have you ever thought what it would be like to be living in the flow? To be living in such a way that opportunities came to you with ease, doors opened and closed in such a way that decision making was straight-forward and you knew exactly what you wanted to do and where you were going?
I am going to suggest 6 steps to help you balance your life, live your dreams and ultimately, ‘get into the flow’.
Step One: Increase your Self Awareness
Like the 9/10ths of an iceberg which is below the surface of the water – there is much in your mind that you are not fully or even partially aware of. It is often the stuff that happens to us when we are growing up that affects us at an unconscious level when we are much older. The first step to getting in the flow is to increase your self awareness. You do this by asking yourself why you are feeling, behaving, speaking, reacting… in such a way. Take the time to analyse what is going on for you, rather than reacting to situations in the normal way.
Self awareness is a continual process, but once you start to do it, it will become second nature. Make a conscious decision to understand yourself more, and thereby become more in control of who you are and who you want to become.
Step Two: Identify your Limiting Beliefs
A limiting belief is a belief that holds you back. It is usually negative and it places limitations on your ability to succeed. It goes on in the unconscious mind so you are often not even aware that you hold that belief. I think of limiting beliefs like gremlins in our heads that make us self-destruct. It’s the head-chatter that tells us things like: ‘You could never do that’; ‘You will look stupid if you do that’; ‘You’re an idiot and everyone knows it’.
The process of identifying our limiting beliefs is crucial to discovering what’s going on, shifting focus and getting into the flow. It requires honesty with ourselves and willingness to become vulnerable. But once you know what your limiting beliefs are you can change them and start living your life to a new set of beliefs (see below).
Step Three: Write new Beliefs and Affirmations
Writing new beliefs to counter the limiting ones is the next stage. It is like removing an old worn out CD that we don’t want anymore and replacing it with a different one which has a new and up-lifting message. Choosing the right words for your new CD is also crucial in helping you to live a happy and fulfilled life.
Counter the limiting belief
Be positive (what you are moving towards, not what you are moving away from)
Be in the present tense (as if you have already achieved this).
For example, a typical limiting belief is ‘I could never do that’. A good new belief might be ‘I can do whatever I set my mind to do’.
Once you have set your affirmations you need to repeat them daily until they really become second nature to you. That usually takes at least 30 days, so keep at it!
Step Four: Be clear about your Personal Values
Take some time to be clear about the things that are really important to you, and then take a look at your life to see whether you are living your life in alignment with your values. For instance, if personal integrity is very important to you but you are in a job which compromises your integrity, you will feel a sense of un-ease and discomfort. If trust in relationships is high on your priority list but you don’t feel you can fully trust the people who are close to you then that needs to be addressed in order for you to be fully contented.
Step Five: Be clear about your Life Purpose
Everyone of us has a unique life purpose. It is what sets you apart from everyone else and what drives and motivates you. The sad truth is that most of us don’t really discover what our life purpose is, and so we are scrabbling around in the dark trying to grasp at happiness which seems to continually escape us. By a process of self-reflection you can discover who you are and what you are about. Once you really get that, you can start to set goals for yourself which match your Life Purpose (see step 6). You are now well on the way to living your life in the flow.
Step Six: Set goals that match your Life Purpose and values
Once you are clear about your values and your life purpose you can set goals that match who you are and what you want to become. Ensure that your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound (SMART goals), rather than vague or general.
Carol, March 2012